Well hello my lovely readers! I know that I typically post We Married Young posts on a Monday or Tuesday, but we’re switching things up this week! When I set schedules for my blog I seem to enjoy proving to myself that I don’t have to do what I say. Defying myself.. living on the edge. Anyway! This week I’m pleased to introduce you to Sara of travelingphoblogwripher.blogspot.com! I am smitten with she and her husband’s idea of leaving home to travel around the country in an RV! Not just to see all 50 states, but also to give back at the same time through volunteer/charity work! Aren’t they just the sweetest couple? (Plus, they got married just a few days after Nate and I so that makes them extra awesome.) (=

1. First of all, tell us how long have you been married and how old were the two of you when you tied the knot?

We have been married since June 19th, 2010. I was 21 and he was 22.

2. Tell us a little backstory! How did you and your Husband meet and how long did you date before getting married?

We knew each other in high school. I had a big crush on him but he didn’t feel the same way. In college I needed to buy a TV and he was selling one so we started talking again. We quickly became the best of friends, seeing each other every day. I had just gotten out of a really bad relationship and barely avoided another one so I was very hesitant to start anything serious. I had convinced myself we were just friends and one day he said “We’re already dating. You’re just in denial.” I realized he was right, but I was okay with it. We dated for a year and a half before he asked me to marry him, two years before our wedding day.

3. Some people might say you got married a little too young (it’s been said to Nate & I!)- did you receive any negative feedback on your choice to get married at a younger age or were you surrounded by support?

We did receive negative feedback from a few family members at first but everyone came around before the wedding. It wasn’t easy at first. There were a lot of tears and I was a little concerned some important people wouldn’t even show up to our wedding but it worked out in the end.

4. This is the time in our lives when most of us twenty-somethings are truly finding ourselves and our purpose, through education or by other means. Have you found it harder or easier to work toward your goals as a married woman?

I graduated high school early so was at the tail end of college when we started dating, but Ryan had started down one path and then chose another instead so he’s still about in the middle of his education. He loves what he does, and that helps, but it’s still hard on him. He works 40 hours a week as a mechanic and goes to school full-time for automotive and business management. Towards the end of a semester we’re both burned out and tired of only getting about an hour a day to spent together between work, school and homework. I do find that I sometimes miss deadlines I set for myself because when we do have a free moment together I cherish it and run with it, but in general he is very supportive and helpful so the strain falls more onto him than me.

5. Life is fast paced when you’re trying to accomplish so many things and maintain a vibrant and fulfilling marriage at the same time! Do you have any tips on staying connected to your significant other with so much going on?

We set a rule that once a week we have a “date” with no phones and no Internet. Sometimes we get to spend a whole day together, sometimes it’s just an hour playing a board game, but we always make time for that one little thing and make sure all connection to anyone else is unavailable. We also leave each other love notes and compliment each other daily. Sometimes the little things are the biggest things.

6. What are your favorite things to do as a married couple? Have those things changed a lot or stayed the same since the dating days?

Neither of us has ever been very social, so most of our activities are solitary. When we first started dating we would always eat out, even if only fast food, and play video games or watch a movie at one of the others’ apartment. On weekends we liked to go hiking.
Now that we’re married we don’t eat out much at all, and we both eat gluten free so have to be a lot more careful about what we eat. We do still like to play video games and watch movies/shows together, but we’re more likely to go for a walk together after dinner and then do our own thing– homework, housework, video games, reading, writing, blogging, etc.– until shortly before bed when we do something together again, like watch an episode of whatever show we’re watching at the moment.

7. Did getting married change anything (relationships, lifestyle, etc.) in your life that surprised you at all?

Absolutely. I have very little tolerance for overly sarcastic, teasing personalities. Before marriage if someone was frequently upsetting me by making me or the people around me the butt of all their jokes, I’d simply stop being around them. I can’t do that with my husband’s family or friends! It has taught me to thicken my skin a little bit, but also to stand up for myself. I’ve always had trouble with that, but I’m finding it a little easier now to say “that hurts my feelings” or “I don’t like jokes like that,” instead of running away and avoiding those people forever. I still find myself wanting to do that sometimes, but I love my husband and don’t want to make him uncomfortable or cause unnecessary drama for him by refusing to be around people he cares about.

8. Are the first few years really the hardest?

The first year of our relationship was a bit of a struggle, but there were other reasons for that involving people we knew. The things that were hardest at first were things like not always getting our first choice for dinner anymore, having to let someone else pick the movie half the time, opening the fridge to find the dessert you were craving is gone! It’s the little things you never think about too, like the fact that we get into the shower on opposite sides and the curtain is never on the side I need it on, the fact that he never refills the water filter pitcher and I have to do it and then wait when I’d rather have water this instant, the fact that he sleeps with four pillow and they’re constantly rubbing against my arms in the middle of the night. My mom had some great advice, PICK YOUR BATTLES. I so agree. Sometimes I will ask him why he does a certain thing that makes no sense to me just to get perspective on it, but for the most part I remind myself that I would never divorce him over _[insert annoying habit here]_ so I see no reason to pick a fight over it.
I’m making myself sound perfect. I still have grumpy days when I’ll stalk out of the bathroom and shout “Never hang your towel on my side again!” or something ridiculous, no matter how hard I try not to.

9. And I think it’s safe to say that everyone wants to know.. when will there be babies?! Are you choosing to wait until a certain goal is accomplished, a particular age, or just for the “right time”?

Oh goodness, this question again.
I can’t have children. We’ve discussed the possibility of adopting someday, but at this point we’re being a little selfish and enjoying not having to take care of anyone else. If you don’t read my blog (travelingphoblogwripher.blogspot.com), I’ll tell you that we recently moved out of our lovely two bedroom condo and into a 20-foot motorhome. It sounds crazy, I know, but we have a plan to see all 50 states together. We want to live in each place we go for about three months at a time-long enough to keep working and save up some money for the next place, but also to see all the sights and take it all in. This trip will take years to complete and not only would it be hard to have an infant during that time, I think it would be mean to do to our families and I think it’d be unfair to the child once they were old enough to start socializing and developing friendships. I’d hate to psychologically mess them up to the point where they couldn’t ever keep a job or stay in a relationship because they constantly wanted to be on the move.

10. Lastly, if you could give one piece of advice to a young couple who were thinking of getting hitched, what would it be?

Love with all of your heart, even when you aren’t in the mood.

Good morning everyone! Please welcome the lovely Pamela of Design85.com and her husband, JP, to this week’s edition of We Married Young! Pamela is one of the very few bloggers that have hung around the ‘net (or that I’ve managed to keep up with) from my early days of blogging (I’m talking like, when I was 15! Hah!). It’s always fun to have the opportunity to “follow” someone’s life through something like a blog for such a long period of time to see how they’ve grown and changed over time. =) It makes me super happy to read this interview about her happy little family and I hope you enjoy it as well!

1. First of all, tell us how long have you been married and how old were the two of you when you tied the knot?

We’ve been married over six years (Nov 2004). We were 19 (me) & 20 (him) when we said “I do”.

2. Tell us a little backstory! How did you and your Husband meet and how long did you date before getting married?

Well I’m Pamela & he’s JP. We actually met in high school & became friends between 10th & 11th grade. JP was helping me get another guy, one of his buddies. I know, classic right? Well he became my best guy friend & I his best girl friend. After years of having these feelings I played an April fool’s joke on him in Senior year about how I had all these feelings for him for so long & wanted to be more then friends. WHAT? I had to test the waters, what if he didn’t like me? Well after I said “APRIL FOOLS” he told my best friend to tell me my “joke” backfired. Wait. What? Was he messing with me as another April Fool’s joke? I was so confused but after an afternoon at the mall a few weeks later. I came out and told him the truth. And after much hesitation of thinking I was playing another joke, he too told me that he’d had feelings for me. We’ve been together since then. We dated for a year & nine months before we got married.

3. Some people might say you got married a little too young (it’s been said to Nate & I!)- did you receive any negative feedback on your choice to get married at a younger age or were you surrounded by support?

Oh yeah, we heard a lot of negativity….but from strangers. Our families supported us all the way, they saw what we have together.

4. This is the time in our lives when most of us twenty-somethings are truly finding ourselves and our purpose, through education or by other means. Have you found it harder or easier to work toward your goals as a married woman?

I don’t think it is any harder, if you have the right person then they will back you up on whatever you want to do in life. And it’s nice to have someone keep you on track if you start to lose your way.

5. Life is fast paced when you’re trying to accomplish so many things and maintain a vibrant and fulfilling marriage at the same time! Do you have any tips on staying connected to your significant other with so much going on?

Have fun & don’t stop doing those little things. It can get to be so easy to take advantage of each other & fall into the “living with your BFF” trend that so many couples seem to do. Have date nights!!!! I can’t stress this enough, HAVE A DATE NIGHT!!! And date night means turning your phone off (or at least hitting ignore to phone calls/text)! This can be once a week or once a month, just make time for each other. If you can’t make time for your partner then you’re saying he/she doesn’t matter.

6. What are your favorite things to do as a married couple? Have those things changed a lot or stayed the same since the dating days?

We love to go out to eat & just hang out with each other. It really doesn’t matter where we are because we end up having fun as long as we are together. Anything from blueberry picking to laser tag to laying on a beach.

7. Did getting married change anything (relationships, lifestyle, etc.) in your life that surprised you at all?

Of course! One thing is since we married so young we haven’t really caught up in the friends department. We lost a lot of friends by becoming married (just because we aren’t looking to do single people stuff), everyone drifted away because our lifestyle became more “adult”.

8. Are the first few years really the hardest?

I guess you could say that because it’s just an all new world. You have to adapt to living with someone that you know is there for the long haul. Boundaries are set in almost every category of your life. Even if you were living with the person before hand, marriage is a whole new ballpark.

9. And I know you are a mama to an adorable little boy! In what ways has having a baby has changed and shaped your marriage?

Having a baby has made us realize just how strong we are together. There is nothing like a kid to test your relationship, I understand why so many relationships (relationships, not marriages) that start early with a baby fail now. Bringing a baby into the world has shown a whole different side of JP, that is so kind, loving & funny. Those are qualities that I fell in love with & after having our son it seemed to magnify them.

10. Lastly, if you could give one piece of advice to a young couple who were thinking of getting hitched, what would it be?

Make sure you are ready & take a premarriage course/class/counseling, I know it sounds silly but why not prepare for something that you are committing a lifetime to. And remember, it is just that…a lifetime not just right now.

Today we have Liz of dailylife-ladyliz.blogspot.com here to share with us her experience and expertise on being young and married. She and her Husband Brad are pretty freaking adorable, if I do say so myself, and I really admire their take on marriage. I definitely enjoyed reading about their little love story and I know you will too. =D

1. First of all, tell us how long have you been married and how old were the two of you when you tied the knot?

We are quickly approaching 3 years (anniversary is in August!). I was 19 (however, we were married August 9th and my b-day is August 28th. So I was only a couple weeks from my 20th birthday.) Brad was 21 when we got married.

2. Tell us a little backstory! How did you and Brad meet and how long did you date before getting married?

We met at college, my first semester there, through a mutual acquaintance of ours. I had broken up with my high school boyfriend right as classes started, so I didn’t really want to be dating because I had just ended a two-year relationship. However, as I hung out more with Brad, I began to change my tune a little bit. He asked me to a formal campus event, I agreed, but we went as “just friends” (insert eye rolling here). After that we were “just friends”, but we would meet each other for long walks in the evening, we hung out all the time, I sat with him in Chapel (we went to a private Christian school), went to eat dinner in the cafeteria with him… so by October we made it official. About a year later we got engaged. When we got married we had been together for not quite two years.

(that’s a picture of the formal event we went to. There was no way we went as “just friends” he got me a rose. Lol!)

3. Some people might say you got married a little too young (it’s been said to Nate & I!)- did you receive any negative feedback on your choice to get married at a younger age or were you surrounded by support?

You know what, I did receive negative feedback. Our families were supportive and our friends were supportive, but random people that didn’t know us very well had many opinions. It was mostly in the form of “Wow, you’re so young”. The summer before the wedding I worked as a receptionist at a hospital. My office was full of bitter women who had a lot of baggage about marriage and such. So I heard it all from “You’re stupid to get married. You’re just going to get divorced in a year or two” to “You’re young. You should be out sowing your wild oats and sleeping with tons of people!”

4. This is the time in our lives when most of us twenty-somethings are truly finding ourselves and our purpose, through education or by other means. Have you found it harder or easier to work toward your goals as a married woman?

I have found both. When we got married we were both still in school (I had two years he had one year left) so it was easy because we both had homework. Both had to be studying for tests. Both had to invest time in projects. Now that we’re both out of school, it’s not been too difficult because honestly I don’t know what I want to do with my life! I have a degree in youth ministry and there are just no jobs in churches right now. So I think I’ve had a hard time accomplishing my goals not because I’m married and did so young, but because the degree I chose is extremely narrow. Now it’s just a matter of re-evaluating and deciding if I want more school to get a Master’s, but that shouldn’t be too big of a problem because Brad is also working on a Master’s. But that might also be more challenging because we’re both also working full time jobs.So the short answer: yes it’s been a bit difficult, but I don’t think it’s because I’m married.

5. Life is fast paced when you’re trying to accomplish so many things and maintain a vibrant and fulfilling marriage at the same time! Do you have any tips on staying connected to your significant other with so much going on?

Something we like to do is go to bed at least a half hour early, shut down everything, and just sit and talk before going to sleep. We also have several date nights per month. But when life gets busy and we’re SUPER SUPER tired, something that we try to do is sit at the dinner table and eat together. No TV, no computers, nothing but a nice meal sitting together. It sounds stupid, but really, it makes a world of difference for us.

6. What are your favorite things to do as a married couple? Have those things changed a lot or stayed the same since the dating days?

In some ways things haven’t changed: we love to eat (haha), we love to listen to music, we love to talk about books we’re reading (we’re nerds. What can I say?), we love to hang out with friends. As we’ve really settled into being real adults, we’ve discovered that we like to entertain, we love to walk through art museums, we love just going and sitting on the beach (well, that’s because we moved from Texas to Virginia Beach. Previously we didn’t have that opportunity!), we love to travel. We’re always trying to discover new things to do together. Keeps things interesting!

7. Did getting married change anything (relationships, lifestyle, etc.) in your life that surprised you at all?

Hmm… I’m not sure. There was a lot of new and exciting things for us after we got married. To be perfectly honest, Brad and I did not have sex before we got married (we were both virgins on the wedding night), so that area of our relationship had previously been undiscovered! It was a grand adventure, though, but that was probably the biggest change. There were little things too. Like… sleeping with someone else in the bed. It took me probably two months to be able to sleep well sharing the bed. Or discovering our little quirks that we didn’t know because we didn’t live together before the wedding. But I can’t really think of anything that was truly surprising to me in the sense of “Oh man, I didn’t know marriage was going to be like that!!”

8. Are the first few years really the hardest?

I know some couples who really do struggle the first couple years, but Brad and I have been able to come together extremely well. I chalk it up to the fact that we’re both fairly effective communicators and are willing to discuss issues as they arise. We’ve had a great time adjusting and being together as a married couple. I’m not saying that it’s been all sunshine and roses all the time, because it hasn’t, but the things we’ve struggled with weren’t such big things that it made us feel like getting married wasn’t worth it or that we wished we had waited to get married.

(this is the most recent pic of us, from April =) )

9. And I think it’s safe to say that everyone wants to know.. when will there be babies?! ;] Are you choosing to wait until a certain goal is accomplished, a particular age, or just for the “right time”?

Well, we have (had) a 5 year plan. I’ve been getting baby bugs here and there, but this last one hasn’t gone away! We do want to get to Europe before babies come along. We’re currently saving for that and should be able to go soonish! We also have a few financial goals we want to meet first, but we’re getting closer to being ready. I think at around the four year mark we’ll actively start trying, but maybe also stick to the five year plan.

10. Lastly, if you could give one piece of advice to a young couple who were thinking of getting hitched, what would it be?

My advice would be to take what people have to say about your relationship with a grain of salt. There is no one-size-fits all to relationships. If you know it would be best for your relationship to get married young, then do it. Consider outside opinions, but ultimately it is up to do to decide what is or is notgood for your relationship. That’s true of how to be married too: there isn’t just one “right” way to be married. Find what works for you two and do that. So what if you do the yard work and he does the dishes. If that’s what works for you, then everyone else can just stuff it!

Introducing: Meghan of Violet Sage, and her husband Wes! I adore her blog, and especially her new little feature called- “My Husband Dressed Me”. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to just love checking out those posts! I hope you enjoy reading her insight to marrying young!

1. First of all, tell us how long have you been married and how old were the two of you when you tied the knot?

Wes and I have known each other for six years… I was 19 he was 21 when we met. We’ve been married one year, we were 23 (me) and 25 (him) when we said I
do.

Wes and I met when I came down to Las Vegas to meet up with an old friend who was his roommate. The first time I came down we didn’t get along but the second time I came to visit we ended up having to spend alot of time together and we hit it off from there. I moved to Las Vegas from Salt Lake City four months later (I had been wanting to move away from Utah for a while, so yes meeting him helped give me an extra boost  
 
After I moved I got deathly ill, got into a huge car wreck and the people I was going to move in with scammed me. It was a rough two weeks, but Wes helped me get through it and 8 months later we moved in together.
 
Five years later we tied the knot…legally but who is kidding who we were “married” when we moved in with each other in 2006.

When we first moved in together we had a lot of negative feedback. We were both from Mormon communities, so a lot of people were against pre-marital living and they caused a lot of drama. His parents were a little iffy about it and my were okay. When we announced our marriage there was a lot of “It’s about time”. It was easy to face the negative because we knew that we were a good team and we loved each other.
 
Now that we are married, I get a lot of people telling me I got married to young but I think I’ll get that the rest of my life…People mature faster than others and people find love quicker than others… Wes and I were both.
 

4. This is the time in our lives when most of us twenty-somethings are truly finding ourselves and our purpose, through education or by other means. Have you found it harder or easier to work toward your goals as a married woman?

Sometimes it’s easy and then sometimes it’s a struggle, but not how you’d think. When I’m having a down day or not feeling like I know my purpose, Wes lifts me up. The struggle comes when I see how hard it is for him to see me sad or not feeling beautiful, smart etc. and I have to pull myself out of it. Wes is my biggest sense of support, he belives in everything I’m doing and it’s good to know you have a solid support system sleeping right next to you.

I work 12 hour days – 8 for an Office Management job and 4 coaching gymnastics. The weekends usually have a gymnastics competition or I’m working on my business. Wes works 10 hours a day during the week as a Marketing Director and another 5-10 throughout the week consulting, so to say we are busy is an understatement. We’ve lately found a good balance but it has taken time and some tears. I take Wednesday nights off from gymnastics and we spend the night together without cell phones, and then on the weekends we fit in as much ”together” time as possible. Wes helps me sometimes with my ventures and I help him, it is all about teamwork. We do make it a point to take 3 weekend trips to california throughout the summer and one week long vacation together no matter what, it is like hitting the reset button.
My tip is to unplug…unplug the phones,computers and social calendars.. Schedule downtime if you have to just unplug, roll around the sheets and eat pancakes in bed.

I don’t think what we like to do as a couple has changed too much. Our likes have changed but we’ve also started to grow up but we still love to watch sports, travel, read together, clean up the house (yes..it’s true), try new restaurants, shop, watch movies, or find good tv series to start a marathon watching until the early morning hours.

7. Did getting married change anything (relationships, lifestyle, etc.) in your life that surprised you at all?

Wes will tell you it didn’t change anything but I feel like it did. It’s hard to explain exaclty why because I’m not sure…sex got ten times better for me because I wasn’t afraid of getting pregnant out of marriage lol! I’m a firm believer in living with someone before you get married…Wes and had many fights about the toilet paper rolls, folding towels, buying groceries etc… for the first 6 months and I’m glad it was before marriage.

I must be lucky in this category because nothing has been hard with Wes. It was hard at first because I was so far away from everything I knew, saddness would cloud me for awhile and Wes would get upset that he couldn’t fix it but that is about it. We were pretty accomplished for our age when we got together.
 

9. And I think it’s safe to say that everyone wants to know.. when will there be babies?! Are you choosing to wait until a certain goal is accomplished, a particular age, or just for the “right time”?

I’ve always had the goal to visit London & Paris before having a baby!  Luckily, that is happening next year which is good because that little thing called a baby clock… I’ve got it. I’m thinking Europe is going to be extra fun for us.

Give your relationship time to mature. Getting married too quick doesn’t last, for the most part. Get to know your other half’s quirks, goals and thoughts. There is a difference in someone you’re dating vs. someone you marry. I highly recommend moving in with each other, share a bed, eat at the table together, play house and test drive each other during holidays, vacations, family drama. Only then can you make the right choice, it may feel right within the first year but you have to remember and say to yourself “I’ve only know this person for ____ years..
 
I could have married Wes within the first year of dating him but I’m glad we experienced what life would be like if we were together forever BEFORE being together forever